The Real Housewives of New Jersey - Episode Four Recap

A NOTE FROM JEN:  Just a reminder to everyone that constructive comments on the blog posts are always welcome.  But, as stated at the beginning of the RHONJ season, anything (positive or negative) that is signed by "anonymous" will not be published.  Sign your name please and let's keep it clean so we all can enjoy it!!

Photo Credit:  BravoTV

This week in New Jersey, the ladies (and their families) primarily dealt with the aftermath of the Melissa - Teresa showdown at the Summer Solstice party.  Caroline, in my opinion, had the most succinct summary of the entire situation when she said (talking to the camera like she would talk to Teresa about Melissa during her interview portion), "What did that girl do to you that's so terrible?  She exists - that's the problem.  She's a better, younger, version of you.  And that's your problem."  Yikes!  The Giudice's conversation about the events took a disturbingly negative, name-calling turn thanks to Joe and his running commentary about Melissa.  To give Teresa credit, she started off clearly wanting him to knock it off so she could tell him what happened.  I don't know about you, but I don't recall Melissa screaming at the top of her lungs, stomping her feet, or finger waiving in Teresa's face.  Did I miss that?  Was it edited out?  What I saw was the two of them both speaking with raised voices and talking with their hands as most Italian's do.  Joe Giudice was very antagonistic and unsupportive to his wife - telling her that "you don't need anybody, all you need is me" and constantly making nasty remarks.  Speaking of Joe, what the hell kind of leg-spreading, wind up contraption is Joe sitting it.  And Teresa is SOL-STICE not SOUL CYST!  (P.S.  Why is it ok for the father of FOUR beautiful daughters to continually make derogatory comments based on women's appearance?  Be a role model for your daughters!)  On the other side, you see a conversation between Melissa and Joe.  You could tell that Joe wasn't pleased to hear that his wife and sister had words.  Melissa clearly was still upset, and tried to minimize the situation to Joe because she knows that it's painful for him.  Now, whether this was how it happened or what was edited together to show, Melissa and Joe came off very loving and supportive of each other, and didn't bash Teresa or her husband (except to call them liars).  The same can not be said for the Giudice's.

Photo Credit:  BravoTV

Seemingly later that same day, Teresa went to Jacqueline's house to work out.  Before the trainer arrived, Jacqueline called Teresa out on pressuring her to talk about her conversation with Melissa and Caroline.  Immediately, Teresa went on the defensive played the "but you're MY friend and you have loyalty to ME" card.  Jacqueline had a reasonable, logical position on the whole thing and was just asking Teresa not to make her choose sides because she doesn't want to and it makes her uncomfortable.  I don't get this whole "loyalty" thing that keeps getting bantered among these women when discussing friendship.  To me, the only loyalty you have is to yourself to be truthful to who you are and what you stand for and live your life that way.  Everything else falls under respect.  There wasn't any break-through or enlightening moment that happened prior to the trainer, Jolene, arriving.  The workout was insane!  They started and it seemed like 2 minutes in the trainer was leaving the room to swig wine out of a bottle in her purse???  WTH!!  And then she seemed to be slurring her words, which didn't get past Jacqueline at all.  Poor Jacqueline - she is just fed up with all of the craziness!!  While this was going on, Kathy called to invite Teresa and her family to a pool party. Teresa wants to go, but she knows that the Gorga's will be there and she doesn't want to fight with anyone in front of her kids.  Which is totally understandable.

Photo Credit:  BravoTV

The highlight of the episode for me was watching Al and Caroline together.  The whole scene at the Jaguar dealership was great!  Caroline had wound herself up in to a ball of worry because Al had told her that the boys were looking to buy a Jag and she thought it was a ridiculous way to spend money.  It's a SWEET car - with an even sweeter price tag of over $80k.  Once they got to the dealership and Al let her freak out a little more with all of the kids there, he finally sprung it on her that the car wasn't for Christopher - it was for her.  Happy Anniversary!  I absolutely adore Al and Caroline.  After 27 years together, they look like they are more in love today than they day they got married.  (BTW - can someone explain the $.22 in the backseat thing to me please?  Is this an old school Italian tradition for good luck?)  Later, we see Al and Caroline spending time in the apartment at the Brownstone.  When they first married, they lived in this apartment and it's where they brought Albie home from the hospital.  Al was so cute - trying to feed Caroline strawberries and kind of get his groove on!  You could tell that she was having NONE of it with the cameras on.  In her interview, she says that she refuses to talk about her sex life because she has grown children.  But she's been with Al for 30 years so obviously she is doing something right (her words)!!  WooHoo!!  I love how he looks at her!!  It was a great little walk down memory lane to see a few pictures from the early days of them as a couple and Albie when he was a baby.  They have a wonderful romance, and it looks like it continues to this day.  It's great to see a couple on television that have been together this long that are POSITIVE to each other.

Photo Credit:  BravoTV

It's pool party time at the Wakile's!  Poor Kathy is in a tizzy because none of her kids friends showed up (this is a traditional end-of-school-year party they always have, but this year she decided to invite family too).  Apparently, Rich had a premonition that all was not going to be cherry and bright with the Gorga's and the Giudice's in the same place and told the kids to NOT have their friends come over - unbeknownst to Kathy.  Rich feels guilty, but he feels that whatever the adults are going through the kids should be kept out of it.  He didn't want his children getting embarrassed in front of their friends if something should happen.  I have a soft spot for Kathy Wakile.  She still feels that Teresa is going through tough times and she doesn't want to abandon her.  Rich has been done with her for a long time.    She's still trying to be the peacemaker, and Rich feels that Kathy needs to let it go.  Kathy feels that Teresa is family, and she can't give up.  I admire her for wanting to keep trying.  Once everyone arrives, there's definitely tension in the air.  Kathy is not too happy, and Rich is even more convinced that he made the right call to keep his kids friends away.  The adults are trying to put on their "game face" so that the kids can have a nice time.  Joe Giudice didn't attend with Teresa, and I think that was probably a good idea.  All of the kids were swimming in the pool (along with Rosie), while the adults just hovered around and tried to avoid each other.  Kathy encouraged Teresa to go over and talk to Joe and Melissa (who were sitting with Rich).  She is trying to be the "glue" that puts them back together.  It was awkward watching Teresa and Melissa move around with the kids but not interact with each other. Rich was speaking with Joe, trying to find the positives and make suggestions for ways that he and Teresa can put their relationship back together. Rich suggested therapy, which Joe doesn't believe in (apparently old school Italians don't, according to Joe).  I thought that Rich telling Joe that Teresa needs to accept that Melissa and the kids are her family too - not just Joe - was very astute on his part.  If she only perceives her brother to be her family, then it's easier to detach him from his wife and kids.

Photo Credit:  BravoTV

You can tell that Joe loves Gia very much (she is his goddaughter too), and the struggles between he and Teresa make it difficult for him to have a relationship with her.  He doesn't want to argue anymore - he wants to fix it - and calls her over to talk.  The two of them sit down in a quiet part of the Wakile back yard together.  You can see that Joe is calm, quiet, and really wanting to put something together with his sister.  He's focused on the kids.  Teresa immediately starts crying - she is really upset.  She's overwhelmed, and she feels that her trust in him is broken because he told Melissa about their private conversation.  She tells Joe that from now on, she is going to keep her feelings and opinions to herself, not say anything to him about it, and hopes that he is happy with his family.  Joe is clearly confused by this and asks her what she means.  She says to him - "It's like I lost my brother.  You're not my brother anymore.  It's  shame, that's why I'm crying."  OMG are you kidding me?  She wasn't being snotty, she wasn't yelling.  This came from a quiet, sincere place in her about how she really feels about him.  All because he told his wife what she said about her?  Teresa, once again, blames Joe for telling Melissa what she said and takes no responsibility for the words that came out of her mouth.  It's Joe's fault that she and Melissa got in to it at the Solstice party.  I wanted to reach through the television and shake her!!  Here is this man, your brother, who has been married for SEVEN YEARS.  You said something cruel about his wife.  He repeated it to her, because husbands and wives are supposed to TALK TO EACH OTHER.  Not because it was some master scheme to make you look like a jerk.  Joe asked her to go home and really think about if she wanted to have a relationship with him.  If she doesn't, she should call him up and just let him know and he will never say another word about it and just move on.  I believe that Joe was being authentic and sincere.  He's clearly tired of the drama and just wants to move on, one way or another, with his life.  Teresa's response of "start acting like the old Joey that I knew" made me sad.  She is giving him examples of wanting him to be the way SHE remembers him to be before he got married!  Joe keeps asking her what he's doing wrong now, who is he now, and she doesn't have answers.  When he asks her if she has changed, she says that if she has it's because HE changed and SHE's just reacting to HIM.  What a bunch of nonsense!  You can see Joe getting frustrated by the whole thing.  Then, I think, the most enlightening part of the entire conversation happened.  Teresa said she put Joe first before her husband when she got married, and when Joe got married it was like "Teresa who?".  Teresa then proceeds to lecture him about what he should have told Melissa about where Teresa's place was with Joe - and clearly that should have been above her.  Ding ding ding - we've got a winner folks!  Clearly, Joe put his wife first when he got married.  This has bent Teresa all out of shape, made her feel replaced, her ego has gotten involved and this is maybe where the problems.  Instead, she should have respected the fact that she wasn't the number one priority in his life - his wife and children were - and realize that there was plenty of room in his heart for her, not get jealous, and embrace the situation.  Joe couldn't get Teresa to understand that Melissa and his children are his family or acknowledge that once in a while she needs to take responsibility for being wrong.   Teresa just kept blaming it all on Melissa.  He feels that she got lost in life.  Teresa kept harping on the past and Joe just kept saying that he didn't want to get in to it with her.   He just wants to her snap out of it and start acting like the Teresa he knows, "be normal", he said to her.  Teresa refuses to acknowledge that she's done anything wrong, and instead tells Joe that he is "the meanest brother ever."  Joe feels that they are never going to fix it because Teresa keeps coming back to it's all about Melissa, but Teresa accuses him of "trashing Joe" (her husband) for the last 11 years.  Joe is just flabbergasted at this point, his frustration has reached a boiling point and he's done.  He gets up and walks away from Teresa (with not a nice "F-you-B" under his breathe as he walked away).  Teresa feels that Joe has been brainwashed be Melissa and there's no fixing it either.  Everyone is done at this point, and it's just about drying kids off, packing them up, and Teresa leaving (with a REALLY nasty comment about Melissa that aired while she was pulling out of the Wakile's driveway while she was still miked and I pray was NOT said in front of the children.  That is NOT a word that a woman should be called EVER, and definitely not used by another woman.)

Next week preview showed some sort of "field days" that happens (I think) at the Laurita's house, including a 3 legged race and a tug of war, and the preview ended with Gia screaming about Jacqueline reading a book.  Yikes!!!

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